Sea of Fate and Destiny
by Elvin Magi
Summary: Lenalee had caused Lavi to grow a heart. Now he's watching her be tortured by an akuma, unable to help. All he can do is hope for the strength to save her, tell her how he feels, and hope she feels the same. Cheesy w/ a sad bonus ending.
1. Sea of Fate and Destiny

I was working on my other story (currently untitled) but I left my USB at home. Being at the library, I was chatting with a close friend of mine and since she's always really nice about my writing and was going to look over my other one despite its um… maturity and sadistic violence and rape… so, this is dedicated to her. Lavi POV.

.oOo.

She screamed. I couldn't stand the sight and I couldn't run to help her, but I couldn't look away. The level three akuma was laughing wildly and I had trouble holding back the bile rising in my throat. The akuma had somehow grabbed a hold of her in its massive hands. His one hand clenched at her waist and he yanked at her right arm again.

This time I couldn't avoid throwing up as I saw her arm, already wrenched out of the socket, start to tear at the shoulder. Stupid chains, stupid akuma, stupid hammer just out of reach, stupid, STUPID, **STUPID**!

The tendons were slowly pulling apart, her white sleeveless shirt being stained by her blood. Her coat was shredded and her arm looked too similar to the garment. I don't think she even realized that each muscle was separating. Small holes were letting light through at the shoulder, the setting sun's beauty seeping through the horrid mess.

Damn world. How come every horrible day seemed to be bright, sunny, beautiful? Was the Earth **trying** to mock me? My parents died on a day like this. The massive attack that had killed so many Exorcists had been bright and sunny. Life is so stupid.

Each muscle was a thin red string. With a devastating rip, her arm wrenched free. Lenalee, who had been unconsciously tugging backwards, jolted backwards and went silent. Her fierce kicking stopped and she stared at the limb being held, almost delicately, in the akuma's thumb and forefinger. A blank numb look came into her eyes and I thanked her mentally as she closed them, hiding that gut-wrenching expression from me.

"Brother," she whispered, "Allen, Kanda, someone come save me. Someone tell me this is all another bad dream."

I stared. My name hadn't been uttered. Of course I couldn't help her, being chained, but oh, how it hurt hearing her murmur the name of the people she loved and my name not being among them.

The akuma shifted Lenalee and grabbed for her other arm. The disgust, fear, sadness I had felt gave way to pure anger. I jerked forwards and felt a sharp pain in my shoulders. My fingers brushed Nyoibo's* handle. I didn't care if my shoulders were yanked out, if that kept Lenalee from the same fate, it was worth it.

For a moment I could've sworn the akuma turned its head towards me and I froze. Before its eyes could reach me, Lenalee squirmed and attempted to smash her Dark Boots into him. Its head snapped back and I breathed a sigh of relief, lurching forwards and grabbing my hammer.

"Grow, grow, GROW!!!" I was frantic, and my ever faithful hammer complied, seemingly responding to my urgency. The chains smashed. So did the akuma's head. Any other time I would've been amazed at the record time. Instead, I grabbed Lenalee, stripping off my shirt and ripping it into strips to bind her shoulder.

Her dignity hadn't caved until now and she finally cried. Each tear cut into me like a knife but I couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was even as she wailed. I rocked her gently back and forth, extending my hammer above the treetops, hoping for any sign of a village, a hospital, any place where she could get treated. As far as I could see there wasn't. The blood had already soaked through the makeshift bandages and I could feel the warm liquid along my chest. I was babbling, unaware of what I was saying, only knowing that she couldn't die and that every other phrase was a plead for her to stay with me, not to leave, I couldn't live without her.

"What… Lavi, what could you mean? What are you saying?" I never realized how much I loved her beautiful voice until now. I could barely register the tears sliding down my face as I held her close to my chest, hugging her tightly.

"God Lenalee, if you die on me now I don't know what I'd do. I goddam love you and I don't ever want to lose, I don't ever want to give you up. Gee, Gramps is gonna be pissed."

Lenalee smiled at my weak attempt at humor, but when she tucked her head across my collar I realized what I'd been too blind to see before. She felt just the same and neither of us needed words. All my jealousy had been pointless. I love her and I don't care what Gramps says; I've grown a heart. Allen, Kanda, everyone else is all tucked inside it, but it's Lenalee who that heart is built around. I can't remain indifferent. This is a war I am willing to fight- against the akuma, against the Earl, against _any_ obstacle. This is my life; no one is going to tell me how to live it because I am going spend it with this angel, this perfect little blip that had thrown my life off course, this girl who was falling asleep in my arms. As a small sigh escaped her lips and she drifted off, away from the harsh reality of life, I saw that tiny spot on the horizon- a village, another little unexpected dash of hope in the sea of fate and destiny.

.oOo.

*Nyoibo is supposedly the hammer Lavi uses… not sure if that's right, but I looked it up and that's what I found.

Wow… I really am getting cheesy… but at least I managed to get in my little bit of morbid description this time! YAY! Morbidness (Spell Check says its wrong but tough, I'm using it)!!!

I'm also pretty sadistic. I wrote a poem for a competition and… the first line was about how, to a murderer, beauty is the screams of a victim… a couple people have expressed their belief that it'll be rejected or banned 'cause of that… it's quite possible.

An… acquaintance, I guess he would be called, brought to light the question of Lenalee's arm… the akuma doesn't do anything with it but I don't think they would take it with them… so… I guess they just left it there XD. He also thought of the symbolism that it shows how "everything in life seems to tear off a piece of you, as you move on" literally.

I am making a depressing additional ending… so… if you like the cheesy finish, end here. If you like depressing endings with lots of death (trying to avoid spoilers), then feel free to continue.

I also need a better title for this so let me know with ideas… and anyone who'd like to beta, please tell me.

Reviews really do make me happy! If everyone could write well and get good reviews, drugs wouldn't exist, so don't make me resort to drugs people (as if I ever would)!


	2. Falling Apart: Additional Ending

All right… Here's the additional ending, as a reminder, if you like the 'cheesy finish' as I phrased it before, DO NOT READ THIS!!! If you wanna see more morbid, depressing violence, be my guest and read on. Lenalee POV.

.oOo.

Too late did we realize that something was wrong with the village. I suppose it's all my fault. Lavi was so preoccupied with saving me. I was letting myself drown in the elation that his words had brought me. Immersing myself in the fact that he loved me, the _Lavi_ loved me, I didn't notice the odd absence of people, didn't see the dark stains on their closed shutters.

Then, the akuma attacked. Or rather, should I say, 'the akuma whom Lavi had killed's comrades'? Two level threes and 4 level twos. Not good; in fact, very bad. Very, _very_, bad.

I could say that we fought well and beat them, our combined love making us stronger. That, however, would be a lie, and a stupid one at that. The truth was, I was missing an arm and we were both badly beaten, bruised, cut, and both suffering severe blood loss. We lost.

I could hear the akuma's laughter as they reached down towards the fallen form of Lavi. When they grasped his arm I couldn't help but scream, afraid that they would tear it off like they had to mine. Apparently they didn't share the same thrills as the first akuma had. I heard his arm snap, or crack- however one wanted to phrase it- as the akuma broke his arm. For a moment the splintered bone appeared a brilliant white in the rapidly falling darkness. Then, a rush of blood. The bone disappeared, no longer visible as the dark red liquid cloaked it in darkness. His face drained of color and blood dripped down his chin. Lavi had bit through his lip in an effort not to cry out.

The akuma's insane laughter rang out and one leaned down again, his words accompanied by another snap; "You're not going to scream for us? Come along and be a good boy. You don't want the pretty little lady to lose her voice, do you?"

The other level three walked over to me and I felt a slap, accompanied with an order to "Shut the hell up." I hadn't been aware that I had kept screaming. There was an eerie silence as my voice faded, the last echoes slowly disappearing.

Then Lavi broke my heart, "Run, Lenalee. Run while you can. I'll be all right. Even if I die here I'll be happy, knowing that I died protecting the girl I love, and that she loved me too. And tell everyone back home that I'm sorry I died at such an inconvenient time and that I'll miss them." Was he blind? I was being held down by one of them. How could I run? And did he honestly think I could leave him?

One of the level twos sighed in annoyance; "Can we just kill him already? He's being all stupid and sappy and trying to sacrifice himself." And thus, Lavi was shot. The other akuma had been pissed off and killed him, but it wasn't enough.

I could see the akuma's poison spreading through his veins, see his eyes start to glaze. I'd told people before that my friends were my world, and loving him, it was like the world was collapsing around me. I'd only just found out that he cared for me the same way I cared for him, and now, here I am watching him slip away, my name the last words ever to fall from his mouth.

And now I wonder, is life really so cruel? We are fighting against the akuma, for the church, fighting for God, and though I've expressed my hatred before, now I can't restrain my anger. God should protect those who fight his enemies. How can he let us die like this? He has never protected me or any of the people I love. All the pain every Exorcist had gone through- I know life isn't fair, but our suffering is too much- going too far. Now, he's taking Lavi from me. Now my limbs are being wrenched every which way, bullets running through my flesh. God has never helped me and never will. As I lay here dying, thinking these words, I realize that Lavi was right; I too will miss everyone and I am honestly sad that, even though I don't mind abandoning God's cause, I can no longer help the rest of my world- all my friends and my brother- in that cause. But I'll join Lavi, wherever he is, and someday everyone else will follow- regardless of whether God and humanity or the Earl wins. Finally, my life has finished, and now, I shall leave the world.

.oOo.

And there it is- the End (the extra one XP ). I thank you all for reading and any and all reviews will be appreciated.


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